Getting out of my own way

I've been quite jazzed since jogging on Monday - my first time since becoming a grownup! I noticed this morning that my arms are gaining definition, which is cool, too. I've been sharing my info via Facebook statuses on my wall and with my group of fitness gal-pals/support group Hot Chocolate Drops and welcoming the accolades with open arms. Overall, I've been feeling pretty good about myself.

Then, this morning, I went to my classes. I got myself settled into my usual spot for Zumba - near the windows so I can see outside, second row in (first row feels too on-the-spot still) so that I can clearly see what my instructor is doing. I felt good, strong and ready.

Mid-way through the class our instructor repositioned herself at the back of the room. I was now about as far away as possible and had zero sight lines to her. She started doing new moves and I was lost. I kept trying to use the others in front of me for some guidance but they each were doing something a little different from the others - which way was the right way? I could not tell. Now they're spinning, now...something with arms? Crud! I was kind of bobbing and weaving, fully aware that I wasn't even close to what I was supposed to be doing. I felt so frustrated...with myself, with the other students (they could see her, right? what was their excuse?), and with the instructor (who I adore!). As my heart rate slowed, since I wasn't moving like I had been, I even felt cheated - I wasn't getting the workout I need or want. It was a pity party for one, right out there on the dance floor.

Finally, the thoughts popped into my head: It doesn't really matter. Stop trying to be "perfect". Just keep moving. Breathe.

I was so caught up in what I couldn't do that I let my emotions get the better of me. I lost enjoyment and I lost opportunity - all because I couldn't get out of my own way. Once I did...hey, look at that! I was back to finding a rhythm that was "good enough" even if it wasn't exactly what the instructor was doing.

So, I learned my lesson, right?

Well...

Following Zumba I go to yoga. It's a big switch in nearly every possible way. I walked into the room and set up my sticky mat in my favorite spot for yoga - right next to the window so I can see outside, first row (yoga isn't exactly follow-the-steps!). I put my extra gear away in a cubby and returned to find someone placing her mat rightnexttomine, which is kind of a no-no, since each yogi needs a little side space beyond the mat to stretch and extend arms and legs. I slid my mat away from hers to create more space and plopped down. That's when I noticed it...I was facing the wall now. My beautiful window view was in front of the other gal. MY view.

{grumble, grumble} Find your breath...
{grumble, grumble} Notice any tension in your body and breathe into it...
{grumble, grumble} On your next inhale gently open your eyes and take in the light

Oh.

I can see. I can let go. I can be in the moment and not dwell on the little things...little things that truly don't matter. I can get out of my own way...and discover what's waiting on the other side.